- Aug 8
- 2 min read

Unlocking Self-Care: Your 3-Step Guide to Prioritizing You

We're embarking on a mission to turn your self-care aspirations into tangible actions. Are you a mom lost in the whirlwind of daily chaos, yearning for moments of self-care? You're not alone, and I'm here to help you navigate the path to self-rejuvenation.

Picture this: you see endless lists of self-care activities, and they all sound fantastic, but translating them into your daily routine feels like an elusive dream. How can you truly make self-care a reality amidst the bustle of motherhood? Fear not, for I present to you three transformative steps that will guide you toward a more fulfilling self-care journey.

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Step 1: Prioritize Your Everyday Routine

Amidst the clamor of motherhood, it's easy to overlook the power of everyday rituals. Have you ever considered that brushing your teeth, donning makeup, or simply getting dressed can be acts of self-care? These seemingly small gestures hold the key to unlocking a refreshed you. Prioritizing your routine allows you to sprinkle self-care magic throughout your day, one simple step at a time.

Step 2: Set Boundaries, Nurture Yourself

Ah, boundaries – the unsung heroes of self-care. Open communication with your loved ones is essential. Establish sacred moments exclusively for self-care, and watch as the stress melts away. Remember, this isn't selfishness; it's an act of self-respect. Whether you're escaping for a serene bath or a few moments of quiet, setting boundaries cultivates a space where self-care thrives.

"setting Boundaries isn't selfish; it's an act of self-respect. It cultivates a space where self-care thrives."

Step 3: Embrace Mindfulness, Elevate Your Experience

Ever find yourself physically present yet mentally absent? Enter mindfulness, the art of being fully engaged in the moment. Savor the taste of your morning tea, bask in a soothing shower, or simply take a few mindful breaths. This practice deepens the benefits of self-care by connecting you to the present moment. It's your secret ingredient for an elevated self-care experience.

Bonus Challenge: 30 Days to a Refreshed You

Ready for an extra dose of motivation? How about a 30-day self-care challenge? Commit to a specific self-care activity, whether it's getting dressed, indulging in a hobby, or relishing your morning coffee. Share your journey with others for that extra layer of accountability. With each day, you'll inch closer to a more balanced and energized version of yourself.

Mama, It's Your Time

As we wrap up our exploration, remember that you deserve care and nurturing just as much as your little ones do. Let's banish the notion that self-care is a luxury. It's a fundamental practice that empowers you to shine, not only for your family but also for yourself. Embrace these three steps, weave them into your life, and watch as self-care transforms from a dream into your everyday reality. Until next time, mama, remember – you've got this!

Transcript

Jessa: Do you struggle with figuring out how to do your self care? You see all these people talking about there are 100 self care activities that you can do, but the thought or the ability to actually execute those self care routines can be a struggle sometimes. How do you actually find the time, put the energy and the effort into that self care practice?

You know you need to do it, but how do you make it happen? Well, I want to talk about three ways that we can take that self care and actually make it happen in ways to prioritize yourself and your own needs a little bit more so that you can feel refreshed. So let's jump into my three ways that you can jumpstart your self care routine and actually make those activities.[00:01:00]

So in the midst of this beautiful chaos of motherhood, it is crucial to remember that you are deserving of care and nurturing just as much as your little ones are. Self care isn't just a luxury, or an event, or a thing that you go out and do. It's a fundamental practice that empowers you to show up as your best self for your family and yourself.

Now, you've seen all these people, including myself, talk about self care. And you need to do all of these things, and self care is... Doing X, Y, Z, from spa days, to events, to bettering yourself by taking some sort of [00:02:00] class, right? But self care can be so much more than these big, kind of big ticket items, right?

These things that you have to spend money on, and you have to plan around, and get the babysitter, or get a friend to watch the kids, whatever it is, right? These aren't the things that you can do very easily. And then we get discouraged, because we know we need the self care, we know we need to do the things, but it can be really hard to take the time to make those things happen, especially depending on the season of life that you're in.

If you're in this season of life of littles and nursing, it can be really hard sometimes to break away for hours on end to go do a massage, or a pedicure, or whatever. Right? You need to figure out ways to give yourself self care at home, maybe during nap time, or when the kids go to bed at the end of the day, or before they wake up in the morning, or maybe you figure out a way to do self [00:03:00] care with the kids involved.

Maybe. But with all of that, there's this notion that we need to do more. So how do you do self care? For yourself, without needing to find that babysitter, go out and do all the things, right? So I have three things for you to kind of keep in mind, and three ways to help you create that self care routine that is more manageable and something that you can do at home.

Alright, and you can take these same three, these same three rules and apply them to those self care activities that you want to do outside of the house when you're in that season that allows you to do those items. So you can take it for both, alright? So the first thing you need to do is prioritize your routine.

Now this gets overlooked a lot when it comes to self care, is the small self care. The little things. People don't think about [00:04:00] it because it's a routine. It's what they do every day. But if you have, let's say, postpartum depression or any other form of depression or anything like that, brushing your teeth, washing your hair, washing your face can be something that is super challenging to do because there's this block there, right?

So. Prioritizing your routine, even something as small as brushing your teeth, washing your face, brushing your hair, putting on makeup, getting dressed for the day, putting on a bra. That can be part of your self care routine. Because you're putting those needs that you have first. Even though it might feel like something small, it can make the world of difference.

I know for me, if I don't get dressed for the day, I cannot be productive. It's just, I can't do it. I cannot stay in my pajamas all day long and actually feel like I accomplished [00:05:00] something, or actually do the things that I need to do. It's just, there's some sort of mental block there where I'm not in, like, productive mode.

Right? I have to get dressed for the day. Otherwise, it's just not gonna work. I'm gonna feel like that relaxed, sleepy, blah, state, and I'm not gonna be able to do anything, so I have to get dressed. So that is something that is part of my routine, is I have to get dressed. So figuring out what those pieces are, what is something that you want to do?

That could be part of your routine that you're not really doing as much, but you feel so much better when you do it. Maybe, like I said, it's getting dressed, putting on some makeup, doing your hair. Those little things that maybe you used to do before mom, before kids, before whatever, that you no longer are doing, but when you have the time to do it, they just make you feel a bit better about yourself.

Right? That confidence goes up, your just overall happiness [00:06:00] or your drive for the day increases. Because you're prioritizing those little self care pieces that you're overlooking. So prioritizing your routine is so important. And it's about nourishing yourself a little bit. So we need to set aside dedicated time for you to choose those self care activities.

that are important to you. And these are things that can really easily just take 10 minutes, right? Getting dressed, it shouldn't take that long, hopefully. And then there's other things that you could do, right? Eat breakfast. Drink your however many ounces of water that you need to do. Take your collagen.

Take your vitamins. Whatever those things are that you're trying to do for yourself, that can all be self care things. That maybe you're doing some but you're not realizing that you're doing them in regards to as like a self care thing. So, you're beating yourself up saying, I'm not doing self care, but really you are.

And you need to give yourself that credit that you're doing it. [00:07:00] Okay, next is setting boundaries. You need to protect your self care time by setting clear boundaries with yourself and with your family and your loved ones around you. You need to communicate your needs to them and establish these sacred moments that you need to be fully present with yourself to do these things.

And you need to create a space for your self care, and you need to remember that this isn't selfish. It isn't an, it isn't an act of selfishness, it's an act of self respect. You're respecting your time by taking the time to have these self care moments. For example, again, super simple thing, brushing your teeth, washing your face, getting dressed, doing your hair, whatever, getting ready in the morning.

Okay, telling your husband, hey, I'm gonna go get ready for the day. You know, I'm leaving you with the kids, and you're [00:08:00] gonna go away for a half hour, 15 minutes. However long that morning routine is. You get to take that time. And you get to do it alone. Without the kids climbing on the toilet, or playing with a toothbrush, or trying to grab the straightener, or the curling iron, or whatever.

Setting those boundaries that you're going to do those things. You know, setting boundaries around what's important to you is super important along with that communication that comes with it. We need to make sure that we're having that conversation and saying, hey, this is important to me. I want to put in the effort to do X, Y, Z and I need your help to do it.

And then clearly state what you'd like help with. You know, do you need them to kind of be an accountability buddy, in a way? Like, you need them to help you to actually take the time to do it, and have them help initiate those self care [00:09:00] activities that you want to do. Or do you need them to just be more aware of your needs and more present, and listen when you say, Hey, I'm going to go do my morning routine now, and leave you with the kids.

Instead of just disappearing, and the kids and your husband have no idea where you went because you're just gone, and then they're like, well, where'd she go? And then they're all looking for you. And then you and your self care routine is just, you know, messed up or interrupted because they're all, now all of them, in your space because they don't know where you went.

So set boundaries and have clear communication. The third thing you can do is embrace mindfulness. You want to be sure that you are infusing mindfulness into your self care routine. This engages your senses fully as you are engaging in the activities that you're trying to accomplish. Whether it's savoring the taste of your favorite tea or coffee in the morning, or feeling the [00:10:00] warmth of a bath or a shower, with those massaging shower heads, in the hot water, or your mindfulness is enhancing.

No, your mindfulness is then enhancing your connection to that present moment and deepens the benefits of that self care because you're taking the time to mentally be there, right? So you can do a little breathing exercise. Just take five count and take a couple deep breaths. Just count to five. And take a deep breath, and do that two or three times.

I do this with my four year old when he gets upset and frustrated, and I find myself doing it too. And now everybody in the house does it, like, whenever we need to, like, re center. Not just out of, like, that frustration or overwhelm moment, but even in just that, I need to concentrate, I need to be present in what I'm doing.

Taking that count to five, and taking that deep breath. Can [00:11:00] really reconnect and refocus. your mind and what it is that you're trying to do and trying to get done. And then, with that breathing exercise, you're embracing, again, that mindfulness and being aware of what you're trying to do so that you can be more engaged in it.

You're not just, um, let's say, scrolling on TikTok while brushing your teeth. You're not fully engaged in the act that you're doing, right? You're distracted, you're doing other things. And there is a time and a place for that. Right? There are times and places when you're going to be listening to your podcast in your headphones while doing something else, like let's say fold the laundry, versus listening to a podcast or a show or the news while you're trying to enjoy breakfast time with your kids or breakfast time with yourself or doing your hair, right?

There's a difference between engagement and the activity you're trying to do that you're calling self care and engagement in regards to [00:12:00] mental engagement when it comes to self preservation and mental stamina, right? You're constantly doing something. And if you're anything like me, you're constantly thinking that you need to be one upping something, right?

Learning something new, engaging in something new. How can I improve XYZ? How can I do better at this? How can I improve that? So you're constantly looking for something to stimulate to improve upon. And we can't be in that state of constant improvement and constant just go, go, go all the time. We need to take that pause.

And be in the moment and be mindful of what it is that we're actually trying to engage in. So embracing that mindfulness. So when you're looking at your self care and the activities that you want to do, right, there are a million out there and if you want I can definitely go over a couple of my favorites.

Because they change, right? My favorite [00:13:00] self care activities for winter are different for summer, and then fall, and the season of life that I'm in, like we talked about earlier. There are activities that I would love to do, but the fact that I have three littles at home with me right now, it's a little harder, right?

You have to get a babysitter, you have to plan out dinner, you have to do this and that, and then you can go do the thing, and there are times where, right now... It's not worth it. I'd rather do my self care activity that I can do at home after they go to bed or with them present and then show them the importance of self care and encourage them to have that balance too.

Especially with the school year coming up, right? Our kids are going to be more stressed and more go, go, go because they're going back to school here soon and they're going to need some self care. So setting that example Prioritizing yourself and showing yourself that grace, right, is a great way to give your [00:14:00] kids that same example of what they can be doing too.

So while you're looking at those self care activities that you want to do, keep these three things in mind when you're trying to decide what you want to do for your self care. Alright, so you need to prioritize your routine. You need to set boundaries and have open communication. Clear communication, and you need to embrace mindfulness and be present in the moment.

Okay, so those are my three ways to actually make that self care activity, that self care routine thing that you want to do happen. Really simple, but at the same time completely life changing because you're going to be prioritizing yourself and getting those things done and feeling more connected. Now, bonus here, if you want to take it a step further, and you want to do something a little extra, you can make yourself like this little challenge, alright?

For me, it was getting [00:15:00] dressed. Every day, after, especially after my surgery, like just like fully getting dressed, because I just, ugh, didn't want to for a while there. You can give yourself a challenge. I'm going to get dressed every day for this many days. I'm going to put my makeup on every day for this many days.

I'm going to... Fill in the blank and give yourself a time frame. And then tell someone about it. Have that accountability of, hey, I'm going to do this. Post it on socials if that's what you want to do to feel accountable. Just do something. And if you need that challenge or that motivation of, I want to do a 30 day challenge of X, then go for it if that's what you need.

If you don't like the challenge aspect, maybe you need a post it note or a reminder on your mirror in the morning to do these things. Or maybe you need to incorporate. A different routine, like setting your clothes out the night before for the following day. So that way it's ready to go and it's there for you.

Because you know that you need to get dressed first thing. Otherwise you're not going to have the motivation to do it. Or maybe your self care is, you know, eating [00:16:00] breakfast, or eating lunch, or... I don't even know. Right? You get to pick that self care activity, and what's important to you, and what's going to make you feel like you again, and feel more connected, more balanced.

And just overall, more, better about yourself. I keep wanting to say more. More, more, more, more, more, right? Sometimes we don't need more, sometimes we just need less. And that's where self care can come in, because you're doing less. You're putting down the phone, and you're embracing and engaging the moment that you're in.

Alright. I hope that this helped you think about those self care activities in a different way and I gave you some tools, hopefully, to help you actually achieve consistently those self care activities that you want to get done. Now, if you're not already in my Facebook group, I invite you to come [00:17:00] join, and I would love to hear what self care activities you're going to be working towards this week.

What activities you're going to maybe do in a challenge, right? Are you going to spend the next two weeks making sure that you get dressed every day, putting on your makeup? What are you going to do? I'm curious to know, and I'm so interested in knowing what those self care activities are because it could be something that I would never even thought of being a self care thing.

But it totally is. Like the other day, I didn't even think about it, but until I was in the moment, which was driving in the middle of summer, windows open, no kids in the car, iced coffee, sunglasses, and good music. That used to be something that I would do all the time as a teen, and in my early 20s, and I didn't realize it until it was gone, because I work from home and I'm not in the car that often, that I was missing it.

That I missed those [00:18:00] moments of just listening to my music, having the wind, the iced coffee, the sunglasses, the whole thing, like just this whole like atmosphere of Enjoying something that I used to love, like good music, and just being present in that moment. And I got to experience that for the first time in a long time, the other day, and I was like, oh, I miss this.

And then I realized, this is a self care thing that I could do for myself, but I didn't realize it was something. Until I started experiencing it and realized, hey, I missed this. So now it's something I'm aware of. And now it's something that I want to incorporate into my self care routine for the remainder of these warm months.

So I'm in Wisconsin. We're counting down before the first snow. And I lose out on it until next spring. So, keep your self care in mind. Think about those things because it's going to be something specific to you. And even though these people, and [00:19:00] myself included, can give you 100 examples of what you can do, the one that hits home, and hits your heart, is going to be the best self care thing that you can do for yourself.

So, until next time, Mama, don't forget, you got this.

Unlocking Self-Care: Your 3-Step Guide to Prioritizing You

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