- Aug 28
- 3 min read

4K Insights: Mom's Wisdom for Starting School for the First Time

Starting a new phase in our children's lives is both thrilling and nerve-wracking. The journey of sending our little ones off to school for the first time is marked by a mix of excitement, anxiety, and perhaps a tinge of relief. It's an entirely new world of schedules, routines, and uncharted experiences. As a mom, I understand the whirlwind of emotions that come with this transition, especially when it's our eldest child stepping into the realm of formal education.

"How exciting is it to be starting this new journey, this new season of life when your firstborn is starting school? It's thrilling, a little scary, and maybe just a bit of a relief knowing they're embarking on this new chapter."

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From schedules and routines to figuring out what to do and what not to do, there's an overwhelming array of new things to navigate. But amidst the chaos, there are three vital lessons I've learned while preparing my oldest child for school.

Starting school for the first time is filled with new things.

Isn't it surreal to think about your first child, your eldest, attending school?

The mere thought of it can be a bit overwhelming. From school supply shopping to practicing introductions, there are countless aspects to consider, some you didn't even anticipate. It's a flurry of questions – can they say their last name? Do they know their address? What about opening a snack on their own?

"How crazy is it to think that your first child, your oldest, is Starting school for the first time?"

The adjustments for both us and our children are not to be taken lightly. Emotions, big and small, play a significant role. It's okay for us to feel nervous, excited, or even scared. As moms, we're not immune to these emotions.

Navigating the emotional landscape of sending your child to school is both exciting and challenging. If you're looking for some expert advice and insights, these kids books can be a valuable resource:

A Little SPOT of Emotion 8 Book Box Set (Books 1-8: Anger, Anxiety, Peaceful, Happiness, Sadness, Confidence, Love, & Scribble Emotion) - I love these books, they really helped us talk about emotions in a way our toddler could understand and provided great management strategies.

My Little Growing Mindset: Growth Mindset for Ages 2-5 - Growth Mindset plays an important role in our kid's lives as we prepare them for independence.

What Should Danny Do? (The Power to Choose Series) (The Power to Choose, 1) - This is a great series to encourage problem-solving and critical thinking in a way that toddlers and young kids can practice.

Preschool, Here I Come! - I think this is a bit self-explained lol. A good short story to help spark conversation about what to expect in school.

However, just as we encourage our kids to seek help, we must do the same for ourselves. Taking a deep breath, seeking support from loved ones, and asking for help when needed can make a world of difference.

As parents, our role involves setting routines and boundaries, both for ourselves and our children. By incorporating our kids into the preparation process, we empower them and foster independence. From selecting outfits to practicing snack time, involving them sets a positive tone for the school days ahead.

Starting school for the first time needs a routine, boundaries and to prepare ahead of time.

Acknowledging their feelings is key. Encourage excitement and positivity, while also validating any fears they may have. Just as we experience trepidation, they might too.

Sharing your own moments of apprehension can help them understand it's normal to feel uncertain and that it's alright to seek help and support.

"Acknowledging. If they are a little bit scared or timid about going to school and acknowledging that and telling them that it's okay."

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to this journey. Each family's path is unique. Celebrate the small victories and navigate the emotional landscape together. Whether it's public school, private school, or homeschooling, trust your instincts and embrace the adventure.

Transcript

How exciting is it to be starting this new journey, this new season of life when you're first born, your oldest, is starting school. It has to be just so exciting but also a little scary and maybe a little bit, just a little bit, of a relief knowing that they're finally starting school and you're on to this new chapter.

But, being your first, there are so many new things. Everything is brand new. The schedules, the routines, the things that you need to do, and the things you don't do. And, oh, how do you manage all of these things that are going on? Well, I want to talk to you about three things that I've learned with my oldest going back to school.

How crazy is it to think that your first child, your [00:01:00] oldest, is going to school? Just the thought of it alone. is a little overwhelming, like you're just thinking about it, like you need to go school supply shopping, you need to get them ready for school, there's things that you need to do that you didn't even think about doing, like how they introduce themselves to their kids, can they say their last name yet, do they know their address, what about your phone number, can they open the string cheese on their own, or do you need to do something else for snack time?

And what about that backpack? Is that backpack really gonna be that heavy? Or that big? And all the things, right, that are going through your head as a mom that you're trying to think about in preparation for school. Because it's been a while, right? Since you've been in school and since you've had to do this and now you're doing it with your kids and it's a whole new game.

Right? The amount of technology that's in the classroom, the amount of changes just in the last few years is crazy to think about. [00:02:00] But how do we prepare? How do we get ourselves ready, physically, mentally, and our kids ready for this transition into something new? And with that, this new routine, this new schedule that we have going on.

And I want to talk about, a little bit, about my son. My oldest. So he is four. And we attempted to do 3k last year. So we decided to do this half day 3k program at a private school. And one of the requirements was that you had to be potty trained, right? In... He was just about there, right? We were doing really good.

I think we were just having a couple issues with number two every now and again. But we were just like, yo, right there. And I had brought this up [00:03:00] to the teacher. Just letting her know, like, hey, we're excited for him to start. We thought we'd be farther along in this process. We're having a couple of hiccups.

Want to make sure that this is going to be okay. You know, if not, not a big deal. We'll keep him home. Like, I work from home. I'm out of the house. We were doing this for the socialization, the structure, the schedule for him to make friends, right? So, this wasn't a, oh my god, he has to go to school. There was none of that, right?

This was just for him. Like, we thought... That this would benefit him to go to school. So I reached out and told her all this and was told, you know, It's fine, you know, he can just wear a pull up. Okay, thought that was fine. We hadn't done pull ups before, except for at night time, of course. But decided to give it a go.

Well, that was just the first thing that went wrong for his starting of 3K. And it kind of [00:04:00] just grew. Over his time in the program and he was in for about half the year I think I pulled him around his fourth birthday shortly after that. I think yes Yeah, I think I pulled him shortly after his birthday so he went from like what September to the new year sometime in January February that time period and What we learned was that he wasn't ready As much as we wanted to socialize, to help him make friends, to give him structure, to give him a new schedule, to do these things, he wasn't ready.

And he needed more time at home. More time to work on some things that I needed to do with him, and that his dad needed to do with him, and that his grandparents and other family members could do with him at home in a safer environment. More structured, more [00:05:00] inviting environment than that of a school system because, right, we can't send our kids to school for them to be babysat or for them to learn some, some life lessons, right?

They're, they're there to learn other things, but teaching him how to use the bathroom was, I mean, that was just one physical thing, but that was whatever realistically, I mean. It was a pain. It was a pain. Absolutely. I mean, every time we had a break, I would re potty train him and he would be great and fine.

Everything was done. It was just great. And then he'd go back to school and he'd regress. It's frickin time. And those were those warning bells that he didn't need to be in 3K that a part of me was ignoring because I'm like, no, he needs the structure, he needs the socialization, he needs these other things.

And I kept pushing and pushing and saying, he needs these things when he didn't. He needed to be home [00:06:00] instead. And I've learned a lot in the last year in relation to school. And in relation to our needs as kids and our needs as parents and what's, I don't want to say right, but what is the best fit for our kid.

And I have nothing against public schools. I mean, we're enrolled in 4K at our public school here instead of the private for this coming fall. And we're giving it another go here for him. And we've done a lot of things over the last couple months here, right? He is now completely potty trained, which is...

Oh my gosh, amazing. And, we've worked on other things. Like, his speech. Hi, my name's Leroy. It is so stinkin cute, cause he says that to everybody he meets now. Cause we told him like, hey, when you meet someone new, you gotta tell them your name. And then you have to ask them if they want to play, or whatever other interaction, [00:07:00] dialogue he wants to have.

But we do different practice things with that. We taught him how to say his name and how to say hi. My names and he does it all the time and now he does it. It's so cute in the grocery store or wherever we're going. But it was taking that time to think about the other things that we could do to help him to be successful this coming fall.

And not just thinking about the things that we believe the school system can give him. when we could give him that at home. It wasn't necessarily as easy to do it at home, but it was, in a lot of ways, more beneficial because we got to be involved in those pieces. Now, this year, we were trying a new school.

Like I said, we're going to public school instead of private. And he's in 4K instead of 3K, right? So another year older. And it's still half days, which I think is good. But it's four days a week instead [00:08:00] of five, which I was not aware of until like, you know, a couple days ago. But it's fine. It's not a big deal.

And he is so stinkin excited. So excited. Like even for 3k, he was so excited. He was nervous, of course, those first couple of days, but he was more excited than he was nervous. He was so excited to go. Running up, always just so happy to be there and excited and ready to play and meet his friends and talk to them and learn something new and just.

the whole experience. He loves the idea of school, so telling him that he was going back to school here in the fall reamped up that excitement as he is just like Ready to go and keep asking, am I going to school yet? Am I going to school? Are we gonna go to school now? Couple more weeks, we're almost there.

But in getting ready for school, and [00:09:00] doing this for now the second time, and I can say I'm a little bit more anxious, a little bit more worried about it than I was the first time, because the first time wasn't necessarily an ideal thing, and we did end up pulling him, and that was my choice to do that.

Not to say that there's anything wrong with, you know, staying home or going to school like personal choices all around and we decided To give it another go with public this time around. We'll see how it goes. But like I said, I'm not afraid to pull And I told my husband that if I'm not comfortable with it if he's not comfortable with it He's not by state law required to go to school until first grade that I will just pull him And then we can have the discussion on what we're going to do from there.

But, my whole point is not to take it lightly, right? If you're gonna pull your kid out of 4K and whatever [00:10:00] K that they're in. But, to be a little bit more prepared for it in what we do. And some things that I've done and some things that I've learned is in relation to routines and setting boundaries. And this comes into play in relation to your personal and your work life.

Now, for me and for probably some, most of you who are listening, it's that balancing that entrepreneur, that work from home aspect of it and setting those boundaries. And one of the things that I did is my calendar update. I put in there a block of time for every day in the morning. For, you know, breakfast time, morning time, routine, getting ready to go to school, actually going to school, and then getting the other kids back home from school and getting them situated.

My kids nap in the morning, so getting them home from dropping off our oldest to then getting them to nap. So I have a block of time on my calendar, blocked off every single day for that, and then same thing for lunch time. I have a block of [00:11:00] time for actually lunch, and... Pick up and the time around that for my son as well.

So that way I have these clear boundaries on my calendar for clients and people booking calls with me. But also that reminder to me of no, this is a hard boundary. I am NOT scheduling calls or things during this period of time. It's important to me that I have Meals with my kids at the table. It's important to me that I'm able to pick them up and drop them off from school and not Being late or running around 20 different times trying to do 20 different things when I need to be concentrating on being mom Even if it's just for an hour Concentrating on that and being fully present in that moment and setting that expectation of I am unavailable And that took some effort, a lot on myself to be able to hold myself accountable to not breaking my own rules in relation to [00:12:00] those boundaries and setting that.

Now in relation to personal boundaries. It's practicing a bit of self care and teaching your kids to have those boundaries and those set rules and routine in place, right? Getting ready the night before, getting ready the morning of. What are the things that they need to be doing? And having a consistent routine.

Now, this does take time to figure out and if you have the ability to practice, A week or two beforehand, go for it. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're getting out of the car and you're leaving and driving to the school and doing the whole circle of the block thing, but the morning routine of get up at this time, do breakfast at this time, get dressed, brush your teeth, all those, all those steps.

What does that look like? How difficult is that? And having other kids that are younger knowing that it's going to be more difficult on different days and less difficult than others and right, [00:13:00] you can't be that predictable with all of it, but To plan around it and have things ready to go and have some kind of routine and expectation so that your kids know this is what's coming next.

And a lot of times our kids might not necessarily understand the time piece of it, but they understand the repetitiveness of the task. The routine in relation to, I do step A, B, then C, and then D. And they understand those steps that way. We understand the time piece. And we can teach them that later. But having those routines and having those boundaries in place to have a more productive day, less stress because you're not worried about things coming up on the calendar or things going on throughout the day that are going to interfere.

With that balance of working and mom and everything else that you have going on. And then there's also that prep time, [00:14:00] right? It's including that prep time and including your kids in that, right? Keeping that excitement alive of, okay, we gotta get ready for school. Let's pull out your backpack. Let's pick out your clothes for tomorrow.

And, oh, let's look on mommy's phone. What's the weather going to be like tomorrow? And, oh, look, it's going to be sunny. And it says it's going to be nice and warm. And maybe we should wear something like this. Or this and giving them those options and helping them pick off their clothes and get ready So that way the next day if they're able to right they can get up in the morning Do their morning routine go to the bathroom, whatever it is and get themselves dressed right away They've already picked out their clothes with you.

They know what they're gonna wear Maybe it alleviates one less fight or battle or issue in the morning that their clothes are picked out and ready to go And if you have younger kids, you can do the same thing with them. Let them pick out their clothes for the next day. If they're able to comprehend that.

If not, you can still pull their clothes out and have it ready to go and sitting on the changing table or whatever. So that way [00:15:00] it's one less thing for you to need to think about in the morning. Especially if mornings are chaotic and hectic and you're trying to run out the door. And let your kid participate.

The other things that you can do ahead is obviously get the backpack ready, get the snacks ready. If they're bringing a snack, if they're going for the full day of kindergarten, do you need to bring a lunch and what's that going to look like? And then also practice that. My son has been packing his lunchbox every day this week with different snacks and treats and things.

Now, he doesn't need a lunchbox because he's only going for half of the day, so he'll be home for lunch, but he does get a snack time. And his backpack that he picked out came with a lunchbox, so I'm letting him play with the lunchbox. And we're working on... Opening up the string cheese. Opening up the different foods.

And how to maneuver that on his own. And doing it at home allows him to take that time that he needs to do it. And lets me work with him on that skill so he can get [00:16:00] those things open and figure out how to do it. Because when they go to school, they only have so much time to open their snack and eat it.

And the teacher can help them open it, sure, absolutely. But they're one kid of how many? Right? We can't just rely on the teacher to help them open up that snack. We need to help teach them or give them different containers that they can open. And last year when he was three, I bought these fun little containers that he could open and I would put his snacks in there.

So I took it out of the packaging and put it in there because he was having a hard time with some of the packages that he couldn't do it. So we just put it in a different container than I knew that he could open, and that just made it a little bit easier. Hopefully a little bit easier on the teacher, as well.

The other part is the emotional support, right? We want to embody excitement. We want to show our positive emotions to our kid, and show them how excited we are. [00:17:00] Oh, I can't wait for this, and you're gonna have, you're gonna have so much fun. You're gonna meet all these people. Acknowledging. If they are a little bit scared or timid about going to school and acknowledging that and telling them that it's okay.

That those feelings are normal and it's alright and mommy gets scared too sometimes and what mommy does when she's scared is she takes a deep breath. And then she tells herself that she can do it, and she gets herself that support, or if she needs help, she asks daddy for help, or grandma, or whoever. And just teaching them to ask for help right away at a young age, and encouraging them, and encouraging them to acknowledge that they might be scared or a little fearful, and helping work through that, and encouraging them to see the positive, and saying, okay, well, what are you nervous about?

And getting them to tell you what it is that they might be scared or nervous about. Maybe they're worried about leaving [00:18:00] their siblings at home. And tell them that their siblings are going to be okay and having that conversation. You know, maybe they're worried about leaving you because they've been with you, you know, their whole life.

And maybe this is the first time they're going to be separated for a period of time, really. You know, you got to work through those things and talk it out and get them prepared and talk about the positive things and Tell them okay. This is your teacher's name We're gonna go meet them at open house and you're gonna go see your classroom And we're gonna see all the things that are in there And then when you get there be like, wow, look at this and look here's your name and here's this and just The excitement, get them excited.

Showing them that, those emotions and that emotional support and being with them and helping them through any negative emotions that they could be having and remembering that those negative emotions could in some ways be coming from you and that's something that I know I have to work on too.

Especially my fear around him going to [00:19:00] school in general right now because We didn't have the best experience last year, and I want this experience to be good, and I'm worried that it won't be. I'm worried that there's going to be issues because of his speech, and he is in speech classes right now, but I'm worried about what that means for him in school, because he does get frustrated with his speech sometimes.

And we've worked with ways to... Get over that. Get, not over that, get through it. When he tries to say something and the other person doesn't understand it. He's developed really good ways of showing the person and problem solving his way around not being able to say something in a way that the other person understands it.

And like I said, he's doing speech classes right now, but I don't know what that means in relation to him at school. And who knows? He could be completely [00:20:00] fine. It could be a problem. I'm not gonna know until we start, but being optimistic and knowing that we have things in place and plans going to help alleviate that stress and The fact that he knows how to problem solve around these things makes it a little bit more comfortable for me Knowing that he's going to be okay knowing that it's gonna be fine and knowing that Even with the issues that we had last year, how excited he was to go, and happy about it, right?

The friends he made, the things that he got to do, and how much he really, really enjoyed it. So I'm very optimistic that it'll be fine, and I think my biggest fear is that he's going to love it so much, and not have an issue, and that issue's going to be such a bad or big issue that I have to pull him out, [00:21:00] or we have to go to a different school.

And I have to tell him that it wasn't his fault, because it's not. But I think that's my biggest fear. Of having to remove him from school, even though I know that he loves it. Even though I know that he enjoys the environment, and the people, and whatever else could be going on. By knowing that what's best for him is maybe not being there in the moment.

And those are definitely some fears from... From last year, for sure. But this is gonna be a new year, right? Trying to stay positive and seeing the upside. He is so friggin excited, and we're gonna be excited. We're doing all the prep work that we can do and doing everything that we can to feel better about it.

We have the book, right? The Getting Ready for Kindergarten books, and he likes to read them. And doing the different things that we do when we talk about following directions and [00:22:00] activities and communication and all of the things that I can think of in relation to going to school. But my biggest takeaways from attempting 3k and in pulling him I don't want to say failing, but removing him from the environment to then work on things at home to start over here in 4k now is, is a lot, right?

It's that routine. It's those boundaries. It's preparing ahead of time, including your kids in that. And the emotional piece, the emotional piece for myself as mom and the emotional piece for him. Going to school and acknowledging where I am and where I stand emotionally and with all of this and where he stands knowing that his feelings are Valid and important and what he's feeling and hearing him as well as hearing my own fears And [00:23:00] acknowledging them and working through those Just as strongly as we work through his fears.

Now, I don't mean for this to be a negative Kind of podcast episode or in any way I just wanted to give some transparency on some things that we've gone through in the past in relation to going to school and how Even though it was a rough start our first attempt I'm optimistic that it'll get better.

I am optimistic and positive that it'll be a better year this year. We're more prepared. We've done more research and gone, done more things at home for it to be successful. And I think a part of me, in the back of my head, knows that I work from home. And if I really, really need to... I will homeschool. My husband doesn't like that answer because he thinks I have too much on my plate, but [00:24:00] I don't care.

It's like my little security blanket in the background of if it doesn't work, I will just homeschool him and we will reevaluate when he's getting ready for first grade. Because for my state, that's the required. Time that you start school is first grade. So that's when I would re evaluate if he goes back.

If I decide to homeschool or not. My whole point is that there is no right path. There is no wrong path. You can do whatever feels right for you. In your family, in your kids, and if that is trying school and pulling them, or trying school and absolutely loving it and it's an amazing experience and they stay in that school system for the rest of their, you know, schooling years, then that's amazing.

Or if you decide to pull them and they're going to be homeschooled, that is also freaking amazing. There is no one path, right? There are hundreds of different paths and things that you can do. [00:25:00] So, remember that. There is no right, there is no wrong. There's only the best that you can do. And only what's right for you and your kids and for your family.

Because what's right for you isn't necessarily going to be right for me. And what's right for me is not going to be what's right for you. But maybe having this conversation will give you some more food for thought. And help you accept whatever you decide you need to do. Or want to do when it comes to going to school for the first time.

And I hope and I pray that your first day of school with your oldest, with your little, is magical. That they are happy and excited and even if they're nervous, that they show their courage and their strength because they get it from you, Mama. And they go through those doors and they are just [00:26:00] happy. And things go well, and they enjoy it, and when you go to pick them up later in the day, they have amazing stories to tell you, because they had a great day.

And I hope that we all get to have that experience of, this was a great day, and this was worth it, and this was a great new beginning to a new season of life for all of us. All right, Mama. Don't forget, you got this.

4K Insights: Mom's Wisdom for Starting School for the First Time

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"How crazy is it to think that your first child, your oldest, is Starting school for the first time?"

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